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The goal of our Domestic Adoption Program is to help people make satisfying adoption plans they can live with forever.
All adoptions are individually designed and negotiated, which means they fit the people making the adoption plan. We don't dictate what to do or judge the decisions made by either birth parents or adopting parents. Our role is to be adoption educators, facilitators, counselors and providers of emotional support for adopting parents and birth parents alike. We will always be direct and honest with all information available to us. Here are some of the most frequently asked questions we are asked. Just click to see our responses.
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What kind of contact will there be with birth parents before and after placement?
Serving you step-by-step through this incredible process is our goal. We are happy to answer any other questions you may think of about how we work. We are also pleased to refer you to a cross-section of families who have adopted through us. For lots of answers and information, please e-mail Deborah or call her at 503.233.1099.
WHAT KIND OF CONTACT WILL THERE BE WITH BIRTH PARENTS BEFORE AND AFTER PLACEMENT? Pacific Northwest Program adoptions typically range from what is called "open placement" to "fully open" adoptions. As we have reviewed the placements made over the last couple of years, we can see that the trend continues toward greater openness. Closed adoptions are unusual in this program but do happen perhaps once a year. (See Open Adoptions on the Q & A page.) Many adopting families come to our agency worried about contact with birth parents. Most do not fully understand what contact — or lack of it — can mean in their lives and in their child's life. Our focus on education empowers adoptive parents to make informed choices about this critical life decision. Adoption is forever, so events and needs of all parties five, ten and fifteen years away must be considered. That said, the terms and style of your adoption will not be determined by us but by you and the birth parents of your child. After discovering the range of openness that feels workable for your family, we will look for a match with birth parents whose desired contact falls within that range. Because open adoption is a new idea for many families, we recommend that you do some exploration with an open mind before you make any decisions about what is right for your family. We particularly recommend books by author James Gritter, who helped pioneer the concept back in about 1980. Adoption Without Fear chronicles the stories of twenty-some of the first families who gave it a try. The Spirit of Open Adoption focuses on the attitudes and mechanics of how open adoption works. Lifegivers focuses on the birth parent experience, and how adoption looks from their point of view. Perhaps your decisions for your own family will not change through this reading, but you will almost certainly come to understand the pros, cons and possibilities that open adoption presents. WHAT WILL WE KNOW ABOUT BIRTH PARENTS' HEALTH INFORMATION? As an agency, we believe in full disclosure. Therefore, as the adopting family you will have ANY and ALL information to which we have access. This includes relevant medical records, social and psychological history, case history of birth parents, genetic family history and any collateral referral source information.
Typically, birth parents receive the usual battery of tests given to any pregnant woman. They may receive some additional tests given to women in high risk groups because of smoking cigarettes, being in a stressful social situation, lacking family support, or having multiple partners. The decisions about what tests they will receive are medical decisions. We can ask birth parents if they are willing to take additional tests, which may or may not be covered by their health insurance. If they are not covered, they will become part of the client‘s birth parent expenses. WHAT ABOUT CIGARETTE, DRUG AND ALCOHOL EXPOSURE? The majority of the birth parents we work with do smoke cigarettes. They typically report that they have NOT used drugs or alcohol during the pregnancy, or occasionally that they drank or used a few times before the pregnancy was discovered. Tests for drug use may be part of birth parents’ prenatal care, but not necessarily. Most of our clients ARE NOT extensive substance abusers. Some of them are. If we are aware of drug or alcohol use, we will do our best to determine the amount and frequency of use and to help prospective adoptive parents find resources to determine how that might affect the child both immediately after birth and in the long term. We do not want any family to adopt a child they would have difficulty loving with their whole hearts. We are always looking for families who are interested in adopting special needs babies. WHAT IS THE ETHNIC BACKGROUND OF DOMESTIC BIRTH PARENTS? The children placed through the Pacific Northwest Program are usually of Caucasian or Caucasian and Latino heritage. Occasionally we place a child of full Latino, full or part African-American, full or part Asian heritage.
HOW LONG WILL IT BE BEFORE A CHILD JOINS OUR FAMILY? Part of your wait will depend on how quickly you do your preparation work. The other part will depend on being chosen by birth parents who meet your criteria and want the kind of adoption workable for you. Some families are chosen very quickly and some take longer. The average wait, once prep work is complete, is ten to fourteen months. WHAT MUST WE DO TO BE READY TO ADOPT? Your preparation work includes six items. They can happen in any order, as timing and schedules permit, and we are glad to provide all the assistance you need with any of these:
HOW MUCH DOES IT COST TO ADOPT THROUGH THE DOMESTIC PROGRAM? AND WHEN ARE FEES DUE?
What is the adoptive parent training seminar, and why do we have to attend? Several times each year, we hold a two-day training for families planning to adopt domestically. Usually we meet during the daytime on a Friday and Saturday. See our home page to find information about the next scheduled training and the registration form. During this training we cover quite a number of topics, including:
Trainees will have the opportunity to hear from one or more birth parents who have worked with us. For many prospective adoptive parents, it will be the first time they have knowingly met someone who has placed a child for adoption. This alone would make the training worthwhile. In addition, trainees will hear from one or more adoptive parents who have adopted through Heritage. The wisdom of their experience can also be extremely helpful. We have found that families feel much more prepared and relaxed about their future adoptions after attending the adoptive parent training seminar. One trainee said, “I really didn’t expect to get much out of this training. In fact, [my wife] dragged me here kicking and screaming. I’m really surprised by how hopeful I feel now. This was a real encouragement.” Even if you have attended training presented by another adoption agency or entity, you must attend ours as well. Our process is different; each state’s laws are different; each agency’s way of working is different. HOW DO BIRTH PARENTS FIND HERITAGE? Birth parents reach out to us for help based on our reputation, exposure in the Yellow Pages and on the Internet, referrals from physicians, midwives, counselors, churches, schools, neighbors, correctional facilities and from former clients who have already used our services. HOW OLD ARE BABIES PLACED BY HERITAGE THROUGH THIS PROGRAM? Nearly always, the children placed through the Pacific Northwest Program are newborn infants who go directly home from the hospital with their adopting families. Many times all parties involved are at the hospital together and often there is opportunity to be present in the delivery room for the birth of the child. HOW DOES THE MATCHING PROCESS WORK? Birth parents may come to us at any stage in their pregnancy. That may be after their first pregnancy test or it could be a call from the hospital after delivery. Most often, however, they get in touch sometime in their last trimester. We begin the counseling, assessment and paperwork process right away. When we feel confident that they clearly understand and plan to choose adoption, we begin the matching process by showing them adoptive parents' albums. We generally show them only families we believe would say yes to them. When they select a family, we provide that family with all the information we have available about the birth parents. If the adoptive family agrees to proceed we usually arrange for a telephone call or meeting. Afterwards, both parties will be asked privately if they feel comfortable with the match and want to go on. If they both say yes, we have a match! WHAT INFORMATION IS PROVIDED WHEN A MATCH IS PROPOSED? We will send or give you the Genetic & Medical History and a Personal History filled out by the birth parent, medical records related to the pregnancy, photos of the birth parents involved, an estimate of the birth parent’s expenses, and our assessment of their adoption plan. We may also be able to include photos of other birth family members, a letter to the child written by the birth parent and other information or documents we possess. WHAT IF THE BIRTH PARENTS DECIDE TO PARENT THE CHILD INSTEAD?
There are a number of reasons a planned adoption may not happen.
Placing a child for adoption is an excruciating decision for birth parents, and one for which they may face others’ judgment for the rest of their lives. It is very important for them to make the decision carefully and to have the opportunity to re-think their decision after the child is born. While the vast majority of birth parents planning to place for adoption do so, occasionally they have a change of heart or find themselves unable to carry out their adoption plan. We encourage all families to be aware from the outset that in adoption, it’s never over until it’s over. It’s important to guard your hearts to some extent so that if the prospective birth parent has a change of heart, you have retained a piece of sanity on which to build. To that end, we urge families not to decorate a nursery for a specific match, not to allow friends and family to give showers until after the placement, and to buy only the basics before the baby comes home. Remember that the nursery is more for parents than for the baby, the showers will be more fun with the baby there to see and hold, and all the stuff you need for the baby can be purchased in one gigantic shopping trip to Target or Babies “R” Us. In the event a planned adoption does not take place, most families need some time to recover before they throw their hats back into the ring. Once a family is ready to move forward again, we work to find them another match. We always hope a family that loses an adoption will find another match as soon as possible, but we have only a small ability to influence those decisions. From a financial standpoint, the loss of a planned adoption is extremely difficult because the monies spent toward legally allowed birth parent expenses cannot be recovered. Additionally, the match fee, which represents the specific work the agency has completed on behalf of this specific adoption, has also been used to provide services to both the prospective birth parents and adoptive parents. Professional fees have been expended, services rendered on the specific adoption in question. While no fees can be refunded, each situation is evaluated individually to determine whether a percentage of the match fee can be applied to the family’s new match. Serving you step-by-step
through this incredible process is our goal. We are happy to answer any other
questions you may think of about how we work. We are also pleased to refer
you to a cross-section of families who have adopted through us. For lots of
answers and information, please e-mail Vanessa Grace at
vgrace@heritageadoption.org
or Deborah Aronson at
daronson@heritageadoption.org You may reach us at 503.233.1099.
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Birth parents and adopting families in this program
typically meet and choose each other before placement and have a relationship
after placement that may include letters and pictures, phone calls, and/or
visits. 
We are well aware of the
dual hurt to heart and finances when a planned adoption does not occur. It‘s
important that you know that in the last five years, once our birth parents
have reached the hospital with the family they have chosen for their child,
only three have had a change of heart. While we all wish for certainty, it
just is not possible in the area of adoption.
